I'm sooo sorry this is my life...

Thursday, April 21, 2005

You all know that you can never walk along Orchard Road without being stopped by annoying surveyors or donate-so-i-can-get-my-commission "charity volunteers". They're everywhere! They're suffocating! They're sooo common u can even smell them frm far! Take Orchard MRT for example...u noe they're there man...they're ALWAYS there...Liyana and I are becoming really gd at detecting them frm a distance...so gd tat its becoming our instinct. U have to learn to detect them first b4 they detect u. Its helpful when it comes to finding alternate routes to avoid them ya noe...(NOTE: Quick reaction upon detection of annoying irritants is important)

However, i dun tink many ppl were stopped on the streets by an outdoor eyebrow plucker rite? I dunno...maybe I'm wrong but it was definitely my first encounter wif one. So, last Wed, Zaima, Wani n I were walking along Scotts Rd when *poof!* a guy appeared out of god noes where and stopped us outside Tangs. Here was how the conversation or rather his speech went... (words in red are my tots or wat i was thinking at tat time)

Mr Plucker: Hello! Gd afternoon! [yeah...it was gd b4 u came by] I noticed u girls have messy eyebrows!! [woah!!! say louder lah! Let EVERYONE arnd us know!!]

I help ppl shape their eyebrows. I make very nice eyebrows. *takes out a newspaper article* See? Alot of ppl know already tat I can shape very nice eyebrows. They are all satisfied customers. [show off...]

All of u very pretty. All cantik...but ur eyebrows very messy. [see how he flatters n insult u at the same time? Amazing...]

For only $10, i can make ur eyebrows look nicer. But! U only pay after i'm done...after u'r satisfied. I am not joking. [Yeah..u better change ur tie or else ppl will take u as a joke. Its damn ugly] Ppl frm Indonesia come down here to ask me to do for them cuz they noe, i make sure nice one. You all malay rite?

US: Err...yah...

Mr Plucker: Ah..many malay girls also ask me to do for them. You all pretty but [messy eyebrows...yes...] *points at my eyebrows* Messy..*points at Zaima's eyebrows* Messy...*points at Wani's eyebrow n bends to look closer* Urs very messy...the top part messy *Wani just raised her eyebrows which totally cracked me up*

So how?! [So how wat? U've insulted our eyebrows infront of everyone along Scotts Rd and u want us to pay for ur service? I dun tink so ah...]

Us: Erm...nvmlah...thanks...

Stupid bugger...hopefully its my first n last encounter wif Mr Plucker Bugger...

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Wani: I have the messiest eyebrow?!?!

And then I shut up @ 4/21/2005 08:46:00 PM

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Name: Gurlstrange
Email: nohandphone@gmail.com
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50% Chinese + 50% Malay =
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Paranoid, pessimistic girl with near zero self-esteem. Works in the digital media arena in a country so fond of traditional media. Wished she could sing like Christina, danced like Ciara, play the guitar like Steve Vai, play the trumpet like Louis Armstrong and play the drums like Mike Portnoy. Collects Tamagotchi and finds nothing wrong with it because it makes her happy.

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